Miss Missouri 2023 Recap
Miss Branson…. “Holly Enowski”
Being able to say my name on the Miss Missouri stage following the title of Branson was seriously surreal. I got goosebumps on night one and I do not think they ever went away – talk about a literal dream come true less than 3 minutes after being on stage for the first time.
As I sat down to write this recap post –- currently mid-flight back to Kansas City –- I’m filled with just all the ‘heck yes’ energy reflecting on a week about a month ago where I performed the best I ever have in a pageant competition. While I technically finished with my highest placement – marking the fourth consecutive year I’ve placed in the top five — I know I performed MY best because of how I felt in myself, before the week even started. I lived the manta ‘no bad outcomes’ and can confidently tell you a month later that my life is looking pretty golden.
It’s taken the last twelve years of competing in some capacity to fully understand to my core that my self-worth is not wrapped in outcomes. I spent years resting my worth in the outcome, longing for a different result at Miss Missouri and letting it warp my perception, distort my belief in who I am, and force me to seek public validation. I share that with vulnerability knowing that some of you reading this are walking this season now - and I’m the first the admit that it ebbs and flows day by day - but if I can impart one piece of wisdom that I’ve learned: Holly is just as cool onstage in a beautiful red gown, as she is in leggings and a sweatshirt with day old hair on this plane… and just as worthy to be Miss Missouri. As is every woman who presented on that stage. None of that changes based on the outcome of one night of competition.
Scoring: My non-pageant people, here is how it works: at the state and national level of the Miss America Opportunity, the judges give a subjective ranking from 1-5 (each given different point values that are then added together to find your ordered list) in how they want the candidate to finish. This is not necessarily a 1:1 to the scores given during the competition, a list of who “wants it more”, or a list in order of qualification, etc. It’s simply the point values associated with the ranking. In short – I have no control over it. Did my best, felt my best, and left the rest up to luck, chance, and the years of preparation that got me to that moment.
I walked into the week so stinking proud of what I have done as Miss Branson. I walked offstage Saturday night beaming about the experience I got to have as Miss Branson, an experience I would do over ten times regardless of how Miss Missouri week took shape. I get tears in my eyes remembering the years when I would stalk the Miss Branson and Miss Springfield Scholarship Organization Facebook page and idolize how cool their titleholders were. I’m Miss BRANSON?! Those in my corner know that the decision to compete again in 2022 did not come easily to me; I can confidently say those 7 judges on September 11, 2022, changed my life. by trusting me with an experience I almost shut myself out of, over fear of failure.
So, for the juicy part.
The most common questions I’ve been asked are ‘how do you really feel about the outcome?’ and ‘are you competing again?’
1. How do you really feel about the outcome? Did what I set out to do and did all I could do. That’s all you can ask for.
I drove home after closing down the after party (thank you to Pam, Susan, Kendall, and MLPA for ending Miss MO week in such a fun way!) after talking to nearly every table (literally the last people to walk out) jamming to Post Malone and Morgan Wallen with my hair in a tangled mess and a smile, feeling genuinely proud (— the OGs know this is a stark difference from the usual drives home crying the entire time lol). Miss Missouri was fun, I made new friends, I was happy with how I performed in each phase of the competition, and I got to eat buffalo wings. Win, win, win, win, win.
I vividly remember looking at Joey and saying ‘I’m sad it’s over’ – you guys have got me crying on the plane looking like a fool writing this blog – and he said ‘it doesn’t have to be’. Get you a Joey and thank me later.
2. Are you competing again?
Let’s start with an update: The Miss America Organization has new leadership at the national level (exciting!) and with that has come changes over the last 6 months, some of which you witnessed during Miss Missouri 2023. The talent phase of competition now includes a HerStory category where women can share their personal stories through public speaking; a fitness category was added back into the scoring; titleholders can be engaged (you could ~technically be before, but the contract language was very specific); and the age eligibility was extended to 28.
The increased age eligibility is in effect now…and hypothetically gives me 2 or 3 more years to pursue a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I did not allow myself to approach it until after Miss MO, because it was premature to think about it earlier (don’t take yourself out of the race before it even happens!). Following Miss Missouri, I gave myself a month to hold off on any decisions – to process the complex emotions that come with the loss of a dream and achieving a goal; to be ‘just Holly’; and to determine my bandwidth for being an active local titleholder -- as a full-time working professional with a 2024 that is about to be busy with travel and other opportunities, while holding multiple side hustles and having other passions I want to explore outside of Miss America. (also, hi have y’all met Joey?!)
In my onstage final conversation, I said I will leave a legacy of perseverance.
I will leave a legacy of perseverance – I’ve left a legacy of perseverance — and for me, that means taking advantage of each opportunity.
My first year competing I watched a woman who had become my friend win Miss Missouri. And her name is Jenn Davis, who won after multiple attempts, after placing 1st runner up the year prior. You know her – she then went on to win thousands of dollars in scholarships and finish 1st runner-up to Miss America. My story may not end in THE win. It may not end in bringing the marimba back to the Miss America stage, in being the first triplet and CMN Miracle Child to be Miss Missouri, in being Eldon’s first Miss Missouri, or in proving to a little girl in the audience the beauty in “failing” and trying, trying, trying…. trying, trying…. and trying again. But that doesn’t make it any less impactful, inspiring, important, or invaluable.
I know this chapter of trying to be a representative for my home state has not ended and I don’t know what the next pages look like just yet on which stage or in what capacity. All I know is I have more in me to give, to grow, to learn, to improve… and I believe in myself and the impact I can make on the state if given the opportunity.
My decision may change. I may not feel this way in September, December, or even next June. I’m evolving –- and my dreams may evolve too. This blog home will be the place you get an inside look into all the dreams – Miss America and otherwise – and I owe it to myself to go after each and every one with ambition, excitement, and joy. I’m excited to lean into all the things I had hoped to do as Miss Missouri that I can do now, as just Holly or as a local titleholder in the 2023-24 season, and to continue to decide the next best yes.
Everything to gain, nothing to lose!
No. bad. outcome.
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Virtual hugs & buffalo wings,