Week 6 | Miss MO Countdown
More of a video person? Watch here.
MISS MISSOURI 2021 IS A GO — IT’S HAPPENING! (squeals*) To celebrate the most anticipated Miss Missouri EVER, I’m doing a 6-week vlog countdown series leading up to the move-in date ( June 13th), when I begin the process of competing for the job I’ve been dreaming of since I was a little girl.
There’s so much that goes behind the scenes leading up to what you as an audience member (or as a judge!) will see onstage June 16-19th and in our private interviews. The practices, the preparatory work, the current events studying, the interviews, the appearances, the activities, the meetings, the hair and makeup practices…and practice again, the hours hitting my marimba, the late nights editing a video or blog post….on top of being a part-time student in a competitive, difficult program, having two part-time jobs, establishing Hungry For Change Collective, and pursuing my own entrepreneurial and passion projects. I say this not to be braggadocious, but to show that women who participate in programs like the Miss America Organization are well-rounded and the competition is just one aspect of their life.
May 2-8, 2021 | 6 Weeks Until Miss Missouri
Over the weekend I was given the unexpected opportunity to be able to attend Miss MO USA and Miss MO Teen USA finals in Shawnee, KS - it was fun to cheer on so many friends in person! Watching a pageant happen in a COVID-19 environment just got me so excited for the chance to be on stage in 6 weeks. I had dinner with two women I’ve met through Miss Missouri, Ashley and Lisa, and watching the pageant made me giddy.
If you watch the video, you’ll see that most of my days are spent behind a computer screen. Love modern technology! Working remotely is not an entirely new concept to me, but it has admittedly been harder with the pandemic to know when to shut down/turn it off versus when to still working..when there is work still to be done! I struggle with this daily and am working on the best system. When I find one, y’all will be the first to know!
Joey had a softball game this week and it was the only one of the season that I could go to, so I brought my accounting textbook via my iPad and studied away while watching the team. It was nice to get fresh air and meet some of his students.
This week was my second to last week of classes so lots of wrapping up and final preparations for exams. At present time, I’m in Strategic Cost Analysis, Managerial Economics, Leadership Communication, and Social Entrepreneurship. Most of the courses meet virtually in the evenings from 6:15-9:15 pm, but Social Entrepreneurship is my lone day class meeting from 9-10:30 am on Wednesday mornings. I really enjoy the Professional MBA program at Washington University, although the core structure is a bit more math/accounting than I had expected. It’s harder for me because math/science does not come as naturally as writing/reading, but I have appreciated the challenge.
So what does Miss Missouri prep have to do with all of this? I am a firm believer that your preparations should be a part of your lifestyle, not a separate entity. Pageant pet peeve #17 is when it’s “pageant prep” “I’m pageant prepping” “Oh I have prep” — what does that mean? How I see it….and it’s taken a hot minute to get to this point…is that you should not be prepping for a pageant or a competition. You should be imbedding facets of what is needed to perform well into your normal life because the person you are onstage is not different than the person you are in real life. There should be no distinction.
For me, prep is playing the marimba every single day. I am fortunate enough to have a marimba that I rent, thanks to my friends at the Strike Institute and Ladue High School, and I have made a promise to myself that every time I pass the ‘music studio’ in my apartment, I will play through my song one time. I’m playing a new piece this year and I AM SO EXCITED. I wanted to challenge myself and push myself as a musician, and I wanted to take a risk. If I want to be the leader and role model that is a Miss Missouri or a Miss America, I have to be bold and take risks.
Over the weekend, I had more of your traditional ‘prep weekend’ where I had a talent consultation with the one and only Bill Wolfe, our infamous pageant music man, and a walking lesson to touch up since I have not walked on stage in a competition in almost two years!
One compliment that I heard all weekend that has me weak and so humbled is about my energy. and I’ve noticed a difference in myself in how I approach Miss Missouri this year compared to any other year. Before it was about what was she doing? What prep was she getting? Why is she the director’s favorite?
and it might just be with getting older (lol) and having matured since graduating college and leaving the environment that is undergrad, but I know I’m doing my absolute best. and if my best isn’t what the judges for Miss Missouri want, alright. I have other things going for me in other directions that I have put off/delayed/canceled/ignored because of my Miss America aspirations that I can gladly pursue. I know I’m qualified, component, and ready for this job, but it’s not the end-all, be-all that it was for me just 2 years ago. and that’s a really beautiful feeling.
One of my mentors said that last time, when I got called into the top five (last — talk about nerves), my reaction was one of relief versus celebration and that I should really take the time to celebrate what I achieved outside of the desire to please/prove something to someone or to myself. and I didn’t really take that to heart until now, as I get comments about my energy. My reaction into top five was 1000% one of relief and that I proved something to people. Looking at the pictures I feel kinda sorry for younger me. When I was called as 2nd runner up, my initial reaction was not excitement, or wow look what I was able to achieve and how much I grew, it was a disappointment.
moral of the story: do not get so focused on the outcome that you lose sight of the process.
The process is what excites me - I’ve gained so much. I’ve become a better person, a stronger leader, a more commanding communicator, and a servant-hearted role model. Win or lose, I’m coming out on top. These blogs will be a bit different from the vlogs in that I’ll try to infuse more of what I’m feeling/what is not captured on video/what’s going on and some lessons I’m learning as we go. The next six weeks are about to be crazy busy, but I’ve been dreaming of this moment for months. Let’s get to it.